Life choices - lifestyles - consequences

This has been such a hard post to write. It's taken me forever to find the right words, expressing my feelings without a whimper.

This summer we had overnight guests from Australia. I thought they were staying with us for a couple of weeks. They ended up staying nearly six weeks!

During that time I discovered how different our lives have become.

My friend lives in the countryside, I live in suburbia. She has a small farm with lots of animals, I (now) have a dog.

Our girl Coco :-)

She only has one good friend, and she's lonely. Around me I have more than 20 great friends that I see frequently. Hardly a day goes by without one or two of them dropping in to have coffee and a chat.

She has severe money trouble, as a consequence of her life style choices as well as being unlucky with all the different jobs she's had over the years.

I'm not rich, but I do have money to give to charity, to pay for the dentist and the hairdresser, and for holidays abroad every now and then.

During her stay she revealed that she hadn't had an opportunity to wear make-up for the last five years. I buy a new mascara every 3 months. Plus new nail polish, lipstick and perfume.

She'll often be in her pyjama the whole day, I love dressing up in clean, colourful and fitted clothes, adding fun jewellery, shoes and handbags, wether I'm going out or not.

She claims that her neighbours and most of the people in the village are impossible to talk to, because she's too different from them.

I love having friends that are different from me. I love how we all have our own political ideals, religious beliefs and social background, but still manage to have fun, support each other and broaden each other's horizon.

No matter how my friends dress, I would never try to put them down.

On several occasions she mocked me for dressing up, wearing jewellery for no particular reason, for wearing such large and eye-catching pieces. She even claimed that a girl with nail polish is a silly goose! She even warned her 8-year-old son of that on several occasions.

For me it's really hard to find a bridge across our differences. If she appreciated our different perspectives on life, things would be fine. But I'm met with mockery and ridicule, and that doesn't feel very friendly!

Only one evening did she laugh, the rest of the time I only heard negative comments on everything.

Even though there's always room for improvement I do consider myself a happy person, not just lucky, but happy.

Before she moved permanently to Australia, we had some great times. Lots of fun evenings by the fire in the garden,  or exploring flea markets together, having a picnic in the forest with lots of friends and family...

There doesn't appear to be any room or desire for that kind of fun anymore.

What's left between us then? I can pity her for having spent almost all of her inheritance from 1998, so she will have to take a job, even a rotten one. I can pity her for having a need for unspoiled nature so she had to build her house far from the city, jobs and people that are her equal. I can pity her for marrying a man that doesn't have the same social needs as her, so he doesn't feel lonely. I can pity her for being such an artistic and free spirit that she can't talk to regular people. I can pity her for living in Southern Australia where it doesn't rain so she has to buy water.

 Or I can end it here.

She has really hurt me this time, to the point where I started doubting myself. Am I really superficial with my interest in style and fashion? Is my lifestyle wrong, spending so much time with friends?

I feel like she has taken me for granted, and exploited our friendship. To top it all of, she she gave me a present as thank you for staying at our place for free: A bottle of wine, a chocolate bar and a nice packet of coffee beans.

So, should I give her another chance for old times sake? Or should I just end it here?

Give me your thoughts and experiences, help me see things more clearly!

On Coco:

Some readers will remember that we had a dog called Congo, an Alaskan Malamute. He passed away in May 2014.

We have been searching for a new dog since, now wanting to try another breed with a lesser need for exercise.

We decided on either a Japanese or American Akita. Luck struck and we were unexpectedly offered to have Coco, a four month old puppy, at a reduced price (due to owners unexpected pregnancy).

Even though she's of a somewhat nervous disposition she's a lovely, curious and brave little dog. On top of that she's extremely beautiful and loves to cuddle. She has already made many friends here, mainly other dogs, and a few select people :-)

Here's Coco having a small snack :-) Like all puppies she's hungry all the time!

On gardening:

Finally I can harvest the results of all my hard work in spring and summer, and take a break in som comfortable seating too! My husband built the sofa :-)

You see pumpkins, herbs, red rocket salat, Coco in the shadow and a mini lilac tree. The tree comes from a neighbour's balcony, where it outgrew the flowerpot.

I also have a few ripe tomatoes and strawberries. However, I do plan to grow a lot more vegetables next year. Soon I'll start preparing next year's vegetable beds.

Finally I have one last photo of Coco and our daughter, waiting for the train:

My two lovely girls!

I hope you forgive me this long and kind of sad post. I promise the next one will show a few summer outfits, party food and the newest shopping from Copenhagen Jewellery Fair!

Lots of love to everyone - hope to hear from some of you?

Kaffesoester

Denim with style and a visible dress

Yesterday's theme on  Imogen Lamport's Inside Out Styleblog's Fabruary Challenge was "Denim with style". As it was Sunday I didn't have any plans, other than to relax and get a few things from the grocery store. So I decided to focus on my outdoor appearance for the challenge:

A somewhat sunny Sunday

Since it's way too cold for my beloved old Denim jacket, my only denim choice were my jeans. I added my nearly warm enough woolen jacket, a quite new silk scarf, a designer handbag and soft, purple leather gloves.

Of course I brought my stylish dog as well! Afterwards he was very exhausted - or maybe just tired of being asked to pose for his mom's photos.

How long is this going to take?

The dark and mid purple with the lemon yellow is a fantastic, contrasting colour combination. I can't get enough of it, so here's another photo!

Purple, purple and yellow - yummi!

Today's challenge is to wear a dress - some would say that isn't a challenge for me. But our winter weather is unpredictable, and although temperatures were above freezing, it was raining and very windy. So, to fight off the chill I decided to wear some hot Monday colours:

My husband is home, and being slightly naughty!

It's the not so new and trusted CC dress, that has appeared a few times on the blog now. It's the first time it's been seen with teal accessories, so I'm remixing here. On a Monday!

The accessories:

Teal, turquoise and gold, and "warning sign yellow"

Usually I'm alone when I take my photos, but today my husband was home. Can you imagine the fun he had disturbing me? Only a few usable photos, and lots where I'm moving.

New lipstick, see?

I wanted to take a close up of my new lipstick, but it'll have to be some other day. He couldn't resist making me laugh too much so I couldn't stand still enough! Instead you can have another look at my almost new silk scarf!

No make up since it's Sunday!

My skin is quite problematic, so I like to give it a rest from make up in the weekend, if possible. Sorry for not warning you! But the scarf is fantastic - smooth, heavy silk, I love it!

It's been a great Monday, even though every train and bus was delayed today, leaving me waiting in the cold, and getting too late to work. And now it's at it's end, with only one thing left to do - linking up to Visible Monday at the very elegant Patti's Not Dead Yet Style blog, this is the one thing that I'd hate to miss on a Monday! Please go and have a look at all the gorgeously visible ladies!


Take care everyone, and enjoy your week, no matter the temperature!

Tiger(ish) printed dress remixed with gold and orange

My closet is very small, as I've explained a couple of times. So, remixing is a discipline I must resort to frequently. Today was such an occasion.

The dress is from CC (where all great dresses apparently come from), and the orange silk scarf/shawl is old.

Isn't this the pattern of a tiger?

I also wore it two weeks ago on the Trinny and Susannah show. The fit is incredible, and I'm learning how to handle beige!

Wearing a scarf this way isn't annoying at all

As long as I can tie my scarves so they stay in place, and will lie reasonably flat on my bust, I'm okay with it. This one stayed on the whole day.

Lovely new ring from Evans

The large ring (with the white dot on) on my middle finger is new. I originally ordered three, and received two, of which one is too small. This one fits perfectly though, and has already become a favorite. However, I do wish more shops would sell XL size jewellery!

To keep warm outside I wore my magenta wool coat again, which I like with the orange scarf - and my cobalt blue bag.

The brooch is new too, not from Evans though.

As I sort of promised I have photos from this weekend's dinner party. My daughter wasn't at home to help, so I did all the cooking myself!

I usually cook everything myself, but it may seem to some like my daughter does a lot of cooking when we're having dinner guests.

Remember to click the photos to get a larger version

I'm very proud that I've made the candles myself! Last year my daughter made some at her club, and I've wanted them ever since. I love the dramatic atmosphere they create!

close up of amazing candles

Of course I forgot to take photos of all the dishes, but I remembered at the dessert, which is a milk chocolate and mocca mousse with coconut grissini.

The cup is an heirloom form my husband's grandmother

This dessert was brilliant. I made it the day before, and just decorated it with whipped cream and chocolate shavings when I served it.

This could easily become a classic in our house!

The weather on Friday was fantastic so I took the dog for a long walk.

A lovely November day in Denmark

The dog loved it! I don't think he looks like an eleven year old dog, and he certainly doesn't behave like one - he actually chased his tail later that day!

Congo enjoying the sun

As I wanted to make this year's first Christmas decoration, I took the opportunity to collect materials. A few hedges along the way were discretely helped to a better shape... Here's the result:

It can be placed anywhere

Here's how I made it:
First I took and old and battered gold frame, and stapled chicken wire on to the backside.

Is chicken wire the right word?

Adding the evergreen twigs was easy, a bit like weaving.

Half finished, and much faster than anticipated!

Another photo of the finished product:

Bad lighting - I know!

This ended up being a very long post, and I still have one photo I want to share.

On Wednesday my daughter's club had a 'bring your parents' arrangement. That's when I made the candles.

In addition to the candle making my daughter also taught her dad how to make glass beads (she's very good at it!),  and they had a great time!

Father and daughter making glass beads

Now it's party time! Patti at the Not Dead Yet Style blog has invited me end everyone else to join her for the Visible Monday feast. Come have a look at all the incredible outfits!


Have a lovely week and see you soon!

A quick remix

Last week I showed an outfit that I wasn't entirely happy with. The accessories weren't quite right. So, here's another go:

Dash dress remixed, with dog

I didn't have the heart to send my dear old Malamute away, he loves being near his Mom! The accessories in this outfit are in more subdued colours and lots of silver, than the previous.

Pale green, white and silver jewellery

 
We've been warned that the nice weather we were promised a few days ago, is cancelled. Instead we're in for some arctic cold = time to get out the fur!

My old fur jacket is losing more hair than my dog!

With a few age-related hot flushes the fur jacket soon became too hot, but by then I was on the bus, just typical!

I clearly forgot something important here: A bone for the dog!

This is it for now! My throat is very sore, my temperature is rising and the nose is starting to drip, I'm off to bed!

Hope you're all feeling better than me!

Ruched top and draped top

The top I'm wearing today is really from June. It's lined in the torso part so it's been too warm to wear, until today. With some typical wet and windy autumn weather this top is perfect!

Lace top from Kaliko

What I really like about this top, apart from the colour, is the draping which suits my body shape very well. It's about the only lace item in my wardrobe even though it's in all the shops! So far I don't see any reason to get more lace, but I'd love more tops like this in a plain fabric!


If you try to ignore the strange quality of the photo (due to my husband's experiments with his new camera!), you should be able to see the colour better in this picture:

Kaki lace top

Remember you can always click the photos and get a very large version!

Earlier this week I wore one of my ruched tops, from H&M. It has a lovely Asian inspired print which makes it better than plain black for my colouring. I have an old jacket in Chinese brocade that begged to come out and play with the top, see how perfect they were for each other:

Chinese pattern mix on top

My dog thought it was his turn to be the model. When I told him no he was very, very disappointed!

Could he look more sad?

By coincidence the lining of the jacket matched the top's print, and I had to show you!

light blue flowers and lining

Now, all that's missing is a close up of the necklaces - so here it is! The Zara diamonds, and a homemade coral necklace.

Favorite diamonds and coral

It seemed very appropriate at the end of the post, that this is where you see the end of me...

Nicely fitted jacket

This week has been very busy, and the next will be absolutely chaotic. At school my grroup and I are handing in an assignment, showing that we're mastering database building skills...


I hope you all have a lovely weekend!

Pink and burgundy outfits and the top of my dreams (in red and pink)!

This week I'm trying to dress only in clothes from my small capsule wardrobe, in black, pink, cream and burgundy. All outfits so far, have been based on jeans. Boring, but practical. I hope to do better next week!

On Tuesday I wore my very colourful top, and I suddenly realized that these were exactly the colours that I was searching for last summer:

Yes, me too - PicMonkey rules!

I was so in love with that pink and orange dress from H&M, and I was so disappointed when it arrived! The colours were everything I hoped for, but the fit made me look 7 months pregnant!


Today at school I wore my vintage jacket again. I love the pattern and the colours - and the glittery lurex! It's my favorite piece in the capsule.

Same jacket and jeans, but new t-shirt!

You may not notice at first, but I'm also wearing new shoes. They're from Ecco - a Danish brand that are usually too narrow for my feet. These were Okay, and there's even room for my arch supports. The black patent shoes I wore in my previous post are more fun than these, but too small for the inlays.

Vintage jacket and new comfortable shoes

After the first week of limiting myself to this little capsule, I can see problems ahead. There's not enough variety in colours. A few pieces are still missing. With such a small capsule, it becomes very obvious that there are gaps, the same jacket will be worn over and over again.

What I'm planning to do, is to add more colours that together can act as another capsule and individually work with the first one.  But that's for later - the next three months I'm restricting myself to a quite small amount of money to be spent on clothes shopping. Maybe I'm saving up for a skiing holiday in Sweden (visiting Anna and going shopping), maybe saving up to buy a huge closet for my capsules!


A lovely weekend to all of you!

How to wear yellow when it's not your colour

Wearing yellow

For years I found yellow an impossible colour to work with. Lemon was vulgar, mustard was dirty and looked old and orange-yellow looked cheap!

When I was a sign writer's apprentice I was challenged by a teacher to use different shades of yellow, and that totally changed my mind. Now I love yellow! It's possibly the most happy colour I know.

Sadly yellow does not suit me, at all! Of course I could wear a skirt or shoes, but haven't been lucky enough to come across anything in my size. I'd love to have Anna's mustard skirt, or Melanie's lemon one or the shoes in Anne-Marie's post. Instead I have a (brand new) bag.

New yellow bag

In these hot summer days my striped dress is a favorite, and this time I'm wearing it with a dark tank - as suggested by a reader, last time it appeared on the blog which was last week.

 

The dog is barely surviving this heat!

This is as yellow as I get... I just had to have another close up of my new pearl necklace. I like the light green colour with the yellow.

Pearl necklace

Last night We had pancakes with cream and berries inspired by a post at Anne's Heart And Soul blog. I know I shouldn't but they were just irresistible!

Before

The family loved it, and there were absolutely no leftovers! Poor dog!

Half way to after

Yesterday I wore my jeans with a plain black t-shirt, for the first time in my life! All other black t-shirts have either had embellishments or prints, or unusual cuts or been ruched. For colour I added a scarf and a few bangles, among which two are new!

The classic jeans and t-shirt outfit

You have to see my new bangles as well, so here's close up!

New red and purple bangles, old watch and bag

Now later I'm linking up with Visible Monday hosted by Patti at Not Dead Yet Style, where lots of other gorgeously visible women have uploaded their picture as well. Go have a look and be inspired!

My first maxi dress!

Inspired by so many bloggers I've decided to give the maxi dresses a chance.This one is from Country Casuals, or CC as on the tag. It has a strong bohemian vibe and the fit is great on my hourglass shape.

New maxi dress from CC

I wish it had been made in viscose instead of polyester, but most of the maxi dresses I looked at were polyester. This one is also lined so it doesn't show lines from underwear, not even the bra on the back...

Rear view

Although we have lots of sunshine the temperature isn't that high. Going to Copenhagen this morning I wore this old jacket with it:

New maxi dress with old H&M jacket

This outfit was extremely comfortable, and I'm looking forward to wearing it on holiday soon. Today I'm wearing it with my new ballet flats, but I plan to wear it with my black sandals next time.

Bloch ballet flats

It may not show on the pictures but I've got a cold - isn't that just typical? After being stressed for weeks, then it's finally time to relax, and there's your virus! It has to be gone by Saturday - there's a birthday party, and I haven't seen our friends for a long time!


Yesterday my husband and I took the dogs for walk, and Michael took these photos:

Emma and Congo

It's Emma that we're dog sitting , on the stone, and Congo, our own dog sitting in front of it.

A work of art

They're so cute, and very well behaved! Some people say that Alaskan Malamutes can't be trained like other dogs. I disagree, these two walk nicely next to me - even without a leash! They mix well with other dogs, and they love children. They're living in an apartment with my family and me - something that all books on polar dogs warn you about - and we really don't have any problems due to lack of space!



I don't think the dogs noticed - but I did wear my favorite rings...

Favorite rings

And now I'm off to blow my nose...!